“Story has it that the leader of Bellwood at that
time was the son of the founder of our fair city. His
name was Edward Bellwood and he and Judge John
Bradstreet planned to burn the two witches at the
stake. When the witches learned of their potential
demise, they poured some potion into the water
pitcher on those two gentlemen. A day later and
those two turned gay and had a change of heart.
They decided to let the witches live. They even
married the witches to make it easier to hide their
sexual orientation,” Professor Ruby told the class.
Ernie‟s eyes widened, as he loved that story.
After Professor Ruby‟s lecture, Ernie hung out in
the hallway outside the classroom, and waited.
Professor Ruby walked out behind the last of the
students to leave the room. Ernie saw Ruby and
rushed over.
“Professor Ruby. I would like to ask you some
questions,” Ernie said.
Professor Ruby looked at Ernie and his eyes
widened a little surprised. “Why Mister Sobers. I'm
shocked to finally see you showing an interest in
something I'm teaching. Ask away.”
“It's about that potion you mentioned in class.
You know the Witches Brew. Does that stuff still
exist today?” he asked curiously.
“Of course it does,” Professor Ruby replied while
they walked down the hallway.
“How can I get some?” Ernie asked with a smirk.
Professor Ruby stopped dead in his tracks.
“Why would you want such a potion?” Professor
Ruby replied.
Ernie looked around making sure nobody was
listening. “It has something to do with that macho
asshole Rocky?” he replied in a low tone.
33
Professor Ruby showed a spark of interest, as
he hated Rocky with a passion. “Tell me more,” he
asked curiously.
“Well, I think it‟s time Rocky gets what‟s coming
to him. I mean he‟s always picking on poor Stefon. I
don‟t mind gays and I feel they should be respected
just like a football star should be respected,” Ernie
bullshitted the professor.
Professor Ruby looked to make sure the coast
was clear. The hallway was empty except for those
two. He leaned over and whispered in Ernie‟s ear
where the potion could be obtained.
“Will you help?” Ernie relied.
“Sure, I‟ll make sure he gets the potion,”
Professor Ruby replied and loved the idea of
teaching Rocky a lesson.
“Thank you. I‟ll let you know when,” Ernie
replied with a smirk while they went their separate
ways.
Ernie left the history building and ran through the
campus with a spring in his step because he
believed he had a sure fire way out of his troubled
financial situation.
A little while later at a three bedroom, twobathroom
house in the neighboring city of
Summerville was Cecil Sobers a 54-year-old slob.
He was skinny with a small pot belly, black greasy
hair combed with an Elvis style, long sideburns and a
pencil sized moustache.
He sat in a worn lazy boy chair and watched TV
with bad reception and wore a dirty tee shirt and old
faded blue jeans. The inside of his house was a
mess just like the outside, where he rarely mows his
grass and weeds have pretty much taken over the front and backyard. His phone rang in his kitchen. He got up and slowly and walked to the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess just like the rest of his house. The sink was piled with dirty dishes, which may need a sander to get them clean. “It‟s your quarter?” he answered his phone. “Uncle Cecil. It's me Ernie.” Cecil looked excited as he always thought of Ernie as his own son. In fact, he helped raised Ernie after his brother, Gus died while driving drunk. “My boy. How's it hanging? Mine is to the left. Whoa!” he replied in an Andrew Clay Dice type of impression. “Listen. I really need your help.” “Need a chick? I know this hooker, fine piece of meat. Since you're kin to me, she might give you a discount. You know since I have frequent laid her miles accumulated. Whoa!” Cecil replied. “Not now Uncle. I need you over here in Bellwood for a little job,” Ernie requested with a serious tone. “No problem. What's the urgency? Are you in trouble?” Cecil asked concerned. “I'll fill you in when you get down here,” Ernie replied. “I‟ll be there,” Cecil said. “Meet me at the Wal-Mart parking lot and park at the far end in one hour,” Ernie instructed. “Wal-Mart, far end of the lot in an hour. I got it,” Cecil replied. “One other thing, wear your best suit,” Ernie added. “My best suit? I don‟t get it,” Cecil said. 35 “It will make sense when you see me,” Ernie replied then disconnected his end of the call. Cecil hung his kitchen phone. He rushed out of the kitchen and headed toward his bedroom.
grass and weeds have pretty much taken over the front and backyard. His phone rang in his kitchen. He got up and slowly and walked to the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess just like the rest of his house. The sink was piled with dirty dishes, which may need a sander to get them clean. “It‟s your quarter?” he answered his phone. “Uncle Cecil. It's me Ernie.” Cecil looked excited as he always thought of Ernie as his own son. In fact, he helped raised Ernie after his brother, Gus died while driving drunk. “My boy. How's it hanging? Mine is to the left. Whoa!” he replied in an Andrew Clay Dice type of impression. “Listen. I really need your help.” “Need a chick? I know this hooker, fine piece of meat. Since you're kin to me, she might give you a discount. You know since I have frequent laid her miles accumulated. Whoa!” Cecil replied. “Not now Uncle. I need you over here in Bellwood for a little job,” Ernie requested with a serious tone. “No problem. What's the urgency? Are you in trouble?” Cecil asked concerned. “I'll fill you in when you get down here,” Ernie replied. “I‟ll be there,” Cecil said. “Meet me at the Wal-Mart parking lot and park at the far end in one hour,” Ernie instructed. “Wal-Mart, far end of the lot in an hour. I got it,” Cecil replied. “One other thing, wear your best suit,” Ernie added. “My best suit? I don‟t get it,” Cecil said. 35 “It will make sense when you see me,” Ernie replied then disconnected his end of the call. Cecil hung his kitchen phone. He rushed out of the kitchen and headed toward his bedroom.
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